As we all know, life as we know it, is lame, annoying stupid and what not.  Society is at flaw when it turns a man into a killer.  My life is society's fault.

    I have been having a rough time in this life, trying to find out what it's all about.  I'm a criminal, an outcast, an anti-social person, stuck in the misery of living amongst the stupidest people in the galaxy.
    I have many problems right now, being alive, and living with people that don't understand me, and most likely never will.  They repeatedly hurt me, with their words, and repeatedly anger me, with their stupidity.
    I am absolutely sick of people.  People have no good reason to even be alive right now.   They start wars with people just because of religion, or ethnicity.   I'm the social outcast, and freak because I do not want to be at war with other people, but would rather be in harmony. But sometimes things go way to far and push me on the border; right now I am on the border, of self-destruction and chaos.  nothing could happen to make me happy, maybe a slow and agonizing death.   I ask myself why do I bother living anymore?  and always come up with the answer 'to make something of myself'  but what is the point of making something of myself, when I cannot be with someone that loves me, and cannot be with someone that makes me happy?
    Everyday for the past year, I thought she made me happy.  It just ended up with her fucking me over, and putting me aside and second.   I am not very happy about this, but I will be eventually.  I do not enjoy being put second, by anyone.    She treated our relationship as a game, she would purposely say things to make me mad, or make me jealous, And now my friends, that relationship is over.
    I miss the times when I could be happy; and miss the times when things were simple.  I know that we all do, it's a part of growing up.  Growing up.    I wish that in this world, I could find someone that understands me, and understands how I feel.   Someone that understands the agony i go through everyday.

        For the last time, in my life, a letter to maybe someone that cares.

    -anthony schiller-